My grandmother is a strong and independent woman. But in many ways she is also a "traditional" woman. When I talked with her about what she did at back in the Philippines, she said that she took care of the children, there were eight of them (six of my aunts and uncles are now here in America). By taking care of the children, I mean her main responsibility was to look after their welfare.
This did not necessarily consist of all the "traditional" domestic chores such as cleaning, washing the clothes, and cooking by herself. As I wrote in an earlier essay, the family was what would be considered upper middle class in the Philippines. So, my grandmother was able to hire some help to alleviate what would normally be a heavy burden. Some of the chores, when help was not available, fell to some of her other relatives who stayed with them in their home in Manila. It is important to note that the "maids" were women and the relatives who helped with the chores and children in the house were also female.
As my mother and her siblings grew older, more of the responsibility for the chores fell to them. My mother was the oldest child, and my grandmother has told me often that she was also the most responsible, delegating tasks to my aunts and uncles and helpers. The family was a large, extended family with a large house, and my grandmother has told me my mother has always been hard working and decisive. So, even at a young age, my mother was often a leader in household decisions.
Now, it may seem that the women of the house did all the work, but that was not true. Although the vast majority of the domestic work fell to the women of the house (my grandmother, my mother and her four sisters, the other female relatives, and the "maids"), my grandfather and uncles were often delegated to the heavier chores (moving furniture, mowing the lawn, keeping the house in good repair, etc.). Too, my grandfather's job provided for the family income, supplemented first by my great-grandfathers job and pension, and then my aunts' and uncles' contributions. My aunts and uncles eventually took up various professional and semi-professional jobs (the only exception to this is one of my aunts here in America, who is a "typical" housewife with two children). .
From this description of my grandmother's description of male and female gender roles, it is hard to delineate one particular theory that would describe the above division of labor. The compatibility-with-child care theory would help to explain why women performed all the domestic chores that would be associated with childcare (e.g. preparation of food, clothing, and cleaning). But that would not explain why they did not do all of the household chores. There were enough of them that they could, in groups do all the heavier chores as well. The economy of effort and strength theory would help to account for this, the heavier work would be accomplished more efficiently by the men of the house because of superior strength and work capacity. Thus, it is not one single theory that would account for all the behaviors displayed by the family, but a combination of them.
As aforementioned, both sexes played a role in domestic affairs. Domestic decisions (economic or familial) usually rested with either my grandmother or my mother. And, during my grandmother's time as head of the household, the job of "bringing home the bacon" belonged to my grandfather and great-grandfather while bringing home the food from the market was my grandmother's job. This is a traditional type of division of labor, with the man going out and getting the resources needed for the family and the mother staying home to care for the children (with lots of help in this particular case). This changed somewhat as my mother and aunts grew up, for they also contributed to the economic welfare of the family, obtaining good and well-paying jobs. My mother is among the first Physical Therapists from the Philippines, one aunt has been a high school teacher for many years, another aunt is an accountant for a VA hospital in Manila, and another aunt is a head nurse in Nevada. Too, all my uncles, besides being able to do all the "traditional" male roles, are able to cook, clean, and do laundry.
So, during my mother's generation, the gender roles have become somewhat less defined, as the women also went to work outside the home and the men took up some of the household chores. This seems to me a typical arrangement in modern Filipino families from the ones I know of here in America, where both parents work and share the chores at home with the help of the children. With this type of shared responsibility, women are equal in the decision making at home in both economic and familial matters.
As a family friend once pointed out, "Your father is just happy to earn money and help make life comfortable at home. It's your mother who is the slave driver."